I didn’t want the world to know my story, but when submitting to Ellen you only have 1500 characters, and well I have a lot of story to tell. Here is my letter to her. And if you’ve read my blog, then you just might know more than you know. Please no judging!
Thank you to those whom read this!
Dear Ellen,
Or whomever reads this.
My name is Forrest L Rawls and I have a story to tell you. I’m an aspiring screenwriter, dreamer, and procrastinator. I want to sound intelligent and a man who could write something that could inspire, but that’s not the case. If my last name sounds familiar, my second cousin, Wilson Rawls wrote Where the Red Fern Grows.
My story now begins. I was born June 28th 1980, my mom says that I am the best oops baby. I lived life like any kid until 94 when my appendix ruptured. It was three days before I went to the hospital, and when I was in my hospital room, the doctor came in to see how I was. He informed me that I had minutes to live if I waited any longer my life would have ended. That was the first time I almost died. In 2003, I was hit by a girl who was on her cell phone. The third time was the next following year when at 100 miles per hour, a drunk driver hit me.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a great artist, but I could only draw what I saw and not things out of my own mind. After my first near-death experience, it changed into writing what I saw in my mind. By the third time I almost died, I was put in a mental hospital. I cracked. Life threw me some curve balls, and I didn’t know how to handle it any more.
After my stint in the mental hospital, I was never the same. I never finished what I start, and I really don’t like being around a lot of people for a long period of time. I was diagnosed with ADHD, Bi-Polar, and self-diagnosed with a bit of Autism. I went from writing a novel (that I self-published even though it was full of grammar, spelling, and structure issues) to writing scripts. I do have one that I’ve spent six years on, and yet I’ve been told it’s still not ready. The one that was a novel has been 20 years in the making. It’s based on my self-published novel Legacy of the Holy Warrior, which is the 20-year-old script. I guess you can say I did finish it, but with no money for an editor, it’s purely published so that I can say I did it. A comic book was made from the idea with a friend who couldn’t take it further without paying the bills first.
I don’t want to ask for your help, because it might show that I’m needy. I know we all have dreams, and we want our lives to be better. I know for sure I do since I haven’t worked in five years. I’ve been slowly working on my hearts desire, my dream. I’ve gone to college, to use the loans to survive, now I’m sixty thousand dollars in debt and no degree to show for it. I’m still dealing with my mental illness. I did get married in 2007 to an awesome woman who has dealt with me and my issues, and she has her own problems less mental more physical. She has epilepsy. I do rather thank God that I haven’t worked in so long, because of the many doctor appointments, she has seen these last few years.
My mother has been my rock. She has helped with bills even after my stepfather died two years ago, and losing her home, she had for 28 years. She now lives in a townhouse, and after my sister’s second divorce, my mom let her move in with her daughter. My mother loves me, my wife, and I love her. At the end of the show, you say, “Be kind to one another.” My mother is the kindest person in the world and even when she loses, someone or something dear to her; she still will be kind and giving.
I do have dreams for my family and I when I do make it in screenwriting. Paying bills off and then be financial free to pay it forward. I’ve always wanted a comic book company (I kind of have one with what I’ve done with the comic book. It’s White Shadow, LLC and it registered with the government), production, and other movie and cartoon-related companies. Nevertheless, without seeing the light of my own well, I don’t know how I can help someone when I’m in darkness. I want to bring light into the world even if it only for a short time.
I’m 34 years old and really have nothing to show for it, other than the love I have for all and for the life I’ve lived. I even don’t mind the bad because there has been good to great moments. I don’t want to live on government assistance anymore, and I want my family to live life without money worries. I want my mom to have her hearts dream, my sister to have her own place and car, for my niece to have her own room and to live as a teenager without the worries of money. I want to take my wife on a vacation, be more of a man, pay the bills, and work hard for that money that I would make. Even so, I feel that my work won’t matter and the work I do put in isn’t enough. I just want to put a spark back into what I had so long ago, but I just need and want a lot.
I want to further myself in my career as a writer and screenwriter. However, to further my career, I need help with the perfecting of my craft (a mentor or more classes), and to get out of Idaho.
It’s so hard to go anywhere when all you have is a dream and an empty checking account.
I know I’m just dreaming and hoping, but that’s me.
I want to say so much more, but I don’t want to take any more of your time.
Please contact me if you like at:
Forrest L Rawls
907 13th Ave S
Nampa, ID 83651
whiteshadowllc@gmail.com
Twitter: @ACreativeTree or @WhiteShadowLLC
Facebook.com/ForrestLRawls
Website: www.whiteshadowllc.com
Blog: www.whiteshadowllc.com/wp
Sincerely,
Forrest L. Rawls
