Category: failure

Month Late

Posted on May 26, 2015 by WhiteShadow

If you’ve been waiting for a blog entry from me, I’m sorry I’m a month late. Due to my wife’s epilepsy becoming something that has taken up a lot of my time and mind. I’ve been super slow to write or even work on my dream of being a screenwriter. I know many write no matter what goes on in their lives. I’ve been offered writing jobs (my own opinion), but scared to act. Am I good enough comes to mind, then what about my wife? Doctor’s visits driving here and there. Catch her when she falls, and take care of her. Feed her and just be there for her.

Then my mom says you’ve been blessed. I say no she said to take a look. We may not be debt free or do I have a bachelor’s degree, but bills are paid. We have a house. We got with government assistance a new furnace and A/C. We have food on the table. Our dogs are fed. We may not leave the house much or have friends beyond family. However, we are loved, and we love.
I know when I make it our lives will change drastically. We will be debt free. We will be able to give to those in our situation now. We will still be loved, and love others just have money to help our actions. We will leave our house, and we will still have our old farts (dogs).

I know everyone has their problems and their successes. I’m currently in a “many problems” in my life right now, but I know my successes are coming.

I hope to write more and write about success, but if not I hope to write more positive tidbits and thoughts about screenwriting and screenplays.

God Made A Mistake

Posted on August 26, 2014 by WhiteShadow

 

 

We’ve all heard the stories of the Bible how God created Heaven and Earth and Man. Then we have all heard the stories of Darwin and how a Big Bang created the universe and dinosaurs and man. However, what if both are true. You may ask how can they both be true? Well, this is the true story of how the universe was created and how God made His only mistake.

When God sat on his throne, he became bored and decided to create beings that could stand by his side and have intellectual conversations with. Therefore, he created his angels, but these angels weren’t the only thing. He wanted to create something miraculous. So, he clapped his celestial hands and that became the Big Bang. It was like rolling the dice or making a wish. God didn’t know what would come of it, so as we all do he hoped for the best. Then came stars, galaxies, and the rest of the universe. He wanted pets’ creatures that would be as humongous as, he and that wouldn’t talk back or bark orders of any kind. Those were the dinosaurs. Then he thought of man, but it wasn’t the inelegant man of today it was of those mindless apes. Yes, Apes. Creatures that look like man, but weren’t they had the inelegance of the dinosaurs. With this, they evolved and gain knowledge, but still they were not putting their faith in the one that created them. The Dinosaurs were mindless animals that fought each other and had no will to change. Man had the will to change, but still lacked many things. God was upset at his mistake and decided to start over. With this, he destroyed all he had created. The angel Satan whom had been God’s right hand being, became angry and hated God for destroying such great things as those mindless animals. Satan rebelled and when God created, the new Earth, He had the mind of changing heaven. He cast Satan and his followers to the spiritual depths of hell. Satan became the one whom would oppose God and persuade God’s people to make mistakes as God once did. We aren’t perfect because God saw what he could become. Therefore, he changed and made sure he would never make another mistake again. He gave us commands to follow, so that we would be perfect, but with the persuasion of Satan things so perfect didn’t last. God gives us trials to see whether we will be persuaded by Satan, or if we keep our faith and eyes to him. He knows we can’t be his perfection, but we can try the best that we can and have the faith he has his hands on us pushing us along. He also has given us with the power of Christ to ward away Satan and his lackeys.

Nevertheless, who believes this story to be true? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I believe in God.

Disclaimer: This story is fiction and should be taken as such if you take it at reality that is your own decision.

Getting Back To Work

Posted on August 16, 2014 by WhiteShadow

This has been a couple of months coming. I’ve well, given up in writing and just felt sorry for myself, but things are changing.

A couple of months ago:

I thought for a month now that I could do a short film about me. It might be viewed more than my blog because I’m not writing so no errors can be pointed out other than how crazy I look on film. I thought about trying to fund my own shorts to be noticed for my writing that way since my scripts aren’t to the level that is what people don’t shoe you away for. I know my writing sucks, and I know people are done with me having a pity party for myself and to move on. People say that would be noticed more if you did more work and showed progression throughout that work. However, it’s hard to get back in the saddle and in the mode of nonstop writing and working. I’m confused on what I should work on should I reedit Ring of Wishes? Should I work on my adaption of The Legacy or should I work on a faith and family hopeful script The Love of One?

I’m trying not to have a negative attitude about life and financial needs. I’ve tried to start a donation on my blog then with a GoFundMe as well as the Facebook plugin app FundRazr, and now a Fundly. No, I’ve raised nothing and the first two I set up for issue 2 of The Legacy comic book, but no takers. Why? Well, it’s not for an illness or my dogs (which I’m maxed out there Care Credit to fix some teeth and old lady issues (Sweetie). I don’t have the family that gives, okay well, that is not the truth it’s certain family members. Moreover, we all have our problems, and we all have our hopes and dreams. However, are they worth dreaming and hoping about anymore? Should, I just give up?

I did decide I needed to bring some money into this house and help out. That was a joke; the jobs I applied for came back with an email saying I’m not what they’re looking for. I answered all their questions. I know I’ve been out of work for a while now. However, they didn’t want me. So who does? I don’t have the greatest writing and motivation, but come on I know I will when I get paid for normal labor, so I’m motivated more. So, come on man?!

We all have dreams of what we would do with lots of money, but why don’t those who have the money want to know how we would use it and end up giving it to us? I don’t know.

Now:

Well, reading this, I still feel the same way. I feel that I don’t contribute enough, and I don’t write enough. I want so many things “If it’s to be it’s up to me” but I don’t seem to be doing anything. I’ve decided to do a podcast, but would people listen and judge me on my verbal English grammar. Will I have anything to contribute to someone’s life or give him or her tips on dreams?

With the recent suicide of Robin Williams, I’ve noticed that my life hasn’t had bad news as in his case. And I’ve never thought of suicide (where I took action) a lot. One’s bad news or life is not bad or worse than the next it’s how you deal with the news that tells if your life is terrible. Such as, I give up on writing because family says to, and no money is being made. Should I write or should I not? Like the quote before “If it’s to be it’s up to me.” I need to put the effort into it. Moreover, with my new mentor he said for no fee he would help me but I’ve done nothing for a month since we last spoke.

COME ON ME! GET TO WORK!

Suicide

Posted on October 3, 2012 by WhiteShadow

I thought of this today “suicide” not in the way to commit it as I was to do something harmful to myself in response to life’s ever evolving and ever disappointing battle. I thought of this as why do I want to destroy something that I have struggled with for many years. Do I want to give up, do I give a damn? I, however, found myself in a pit a deep one. One with many thoughts and droughts about myself. I didn’t know where to turn so I opened my email read the scripture of the day and then opened my mind to the possibilities that are never ending. I wanted to commit “suicide” in the way that I wanted to give up on writing and dreaming, but then I said if I don’t dream I don’t hope if I don’t hope, subsequently I don’t believe things will change or get better. So now I dream to hope, hope to dream life will run like a river stream with bumps, ups and downs, but then I know I made it around to the other side of the river, and there I will find a calm open mind to let things flow out like a gentle breeze.