In this time of Thanksgiving, I can say for sure that I have many things that happened this year that I’m thankful for even though I didn’t get my dreams to come true I survived another year. Thank you my wife, and those few family members. I can’t thank friends because well. Do they exist? My encouragement came from my wife, and my mother, they are my rock. I would have more to say, but I don’t want to bore you more than I have.
Are we in such a hurry to get somewhere because we over slept or we got home late. I saw many that went through stop signs and red lights today. Are we that stupid that we don’t have patience anymore. Do we think by running a red light we will get to our destination sooner or on time? Do we have to move so fast only to get stuck behind a slow car or hit every red light. Do we not think of traffic and plan for delays since we drive the same roads day after day? Why do we not take a moment and think or slow down if you’re late it’s your fault for not leaving earlier and predict traffic especially if you travel the same road.
We’ve all heard the stories of the Bible how God created Heaven and Earth and Man. Then we have all heard the stories of Darwin and how a Big Bang created the universe and dinosaurs and man. However, what if both are true. You may ask how can they both be true? Well, this is the true story of how the universe was created and how God made His only mistake.
When God sat on his throne, he became bored and decided to create beings that could stand by his side and have intellectual conversations with. Therefore, he created his angels, but these angels weren’t the only thing. He wanted to create something miraculous. So, he clapped his celestial hands and that became the Big Bang. It was like rolling the dice or making a wish. God didn’t know what would come of it, so as we all do he hoped for the best. Then came stars, galaxies, and the rest of the universe. He wanted pets’ creatures that would be as humongous as, he and that wouldn’t talk back or bark orders of any kind. Those were the dinosaurs. Then he thought of man, but it wasn’t the inelegant man of today it was of those mindless apes. Yes, Apes. Creatures that look like man, but weren’t they had the inelegance of the dinosaurs. With this, they evolved and gain knowledge, but still they were not putting their faith in the one that created them. The Dinosaurs were mindless animals that fought each other and had no will to change. Man had the will to change, but still lacked many things. God was upset at his mistake and decided to start over. With this, he destroyed all he had created. The angel Satan whom had been God’s right hand being, became angry and hated God for destroying such great things as those mindless animals. Satan rebelled and when God created, the new Earth, He had the mind of changing heaven. He cast Satan and his followers to the spiritual depths of hell. Satan became the one whom would oppose God and persuade God’s people to make mistakes as God once did. We aren’t perfect because God saw what he could become. Therefore, he changed and made sure he would never make another mistake again. He gave us commands to follow, so that we would be perfect, but with the persuasion of Satan things so perfect didn’t last. God gives us trials to see whether we will be persuaded by Satan, or if we keep our faith and eyes to him. He knows we can’t be his perfection, but we can try the best that we can and have the faith he has his hands on us pushing us along. He also has given us with the power of Christ to ward away Satan and his lackeys.
Nevertheless, who believes this story to be true? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I believe in God.
Disclaimer: This story is fiction and should be taken as such if you take it at reality that is your own decision.
This has been a couple of months coming. I’ve well, given up in writing and just felt sorry for myself, but things are changing.
A couple of months ago:
I thought for a month now that I could do a short film about me. It might be viewed more than my blog because I’m not writing so no errors can be pointed out other than how crazy I look on film. I thought about trying to fund my own shorts to be noticed for my writing that way since my scripts aren’t to the level that is what people don’t shoe you away for. I know my writing sucks, and I know people are done with me having a pity party for myself and to move on. People say that would be noticed more if you did more work and showed progression throughout that work. However, it’s hard to get back in the saddle and in the mode of nonstop writing and working. I’m confused on what I should work on should I reedit Ring of Wishes? Should I work on my adaption of The Legacy or should I work on a faith and family hopeful script The Love of One?
I’m trying not to have a negative attitude about life and financial needs. I’ve tried to start a donation on my blog then with a GoFundMe as well as the Facebook plugin app FundRazr, and now a Fundly. No, I’ve raised nothing and the first two I set up for issue 2 of The Legacy comic book, but no takers. Why? Well, it’s not for an illness or my dogs (which I’m maxed out there Care Credit to fix some teeth and old lady issues (Sweetie). I don’t have the family that gives, okay well, that is not the truth it’s certain family members. Moreover, we all have our problems, and we all have our hopes and dreams. However, are they worth dreaming and hoping about anymore? Should, I just give up?
I did decide I needed to bring some money into this house and help out. That was a joke; the jobs I applied for came back with an email saying I’m not what they’re looking for. I answered all their questions. I know I’ve been out of work for a while now. However, they didn’t want me. So who does? I don’t have the greatest writing and motivation, but come on I know I will when I get paid for normal labor, so I’m motivated more. So, come on man?!
We all have dreams of what we would do with lots of money, but why don’t those who have the money want to know how we would use it and end up giving it to us? I don’t know.
Now:
Well, reading this, I still feel the same way. I feel that I don’t contribute enough, and I don’t write enough. I want so many things “If it’s to be it’s up to me” but I don’t seem to be doing anything. I’ve decided to do a podcast, but would people listen and judge me on my verbal English grammar. Will I have anything to contribute to someone’s life or give him or her tips on dreams?
With the recent suicide of Robin Williams, I’ve noticed that my life hasn’t had bad news as in his case. And I’ve never thought of suicide (where I took action) a lot. One’s bad news or life is not bad or worse than the next it’s how you deal with the news that tells if your life is terrible. Such as, I give up on writing because family says to, and no money is being made. Should I write or should I not? Like the quote before “If it’s to be it’s up to me.” I need to put the effort into it. Moreover, with my new mentor he said for no fee he would help me but I’ve done nothing for a month since we last spoke.
COME ON ME! GET TO WORK!
This year has started off just great. In June, college is over without a degree or a career aspect. I have to find a job that I know I’ll hate. I’m now out of another med and can have a psychotic break at any moment. Dreams are that, just empty dreams. Nothing coming true how much I hope and pray. Or work on it each day. I say I’m a writer without anything published or anything known to man. My faith in God and of people is gone. Suicide is not an answer, but is on my mind. Giving into doubt and endless wonder. Holding me here is my wife her family and part of mine. If God is in control, why does my life feel so out of control? This year has just begun, but I want it over.
Well, my wife and I have been together for over 7 years now and married 5. We seem to have tiffs her and there and really no explosions really. So when I was getting situated on my medication, I blew up. Then last night again I blew up. However, I more felt that she was being selfish because I told her that we went to my hometown to see my mom and possibly some friends. Well, my wife was sick of hearing about my dead stepfather and didn’t want to be in the house anymore so she walked to our friends. Well, I was about to walk out the door to go home because I had school work, and the dogs hadn’t gone to the “Potty” for 12 hours. Again, I just wanted to go see mom talk hang help then home. Well, my wife was at our friends, so I went over to pick her up. However, she was pissed at me because she wanted to hang with them. I yelled and told her that we don’t need to hang out or see them every time we went to my home town. Well, She stormed out of car, and I drove off. I found myself wondering what I did wrong, but I felt I did nothing but yell. So I went back to pick her up. 3 hours later we finally set out to go home. I was tired as hell and worried about the dogs. She just wanted to get away from things happening around her that she felt was pushing her in a whole well I knew of some stress, but I was surprised to hear her say she didn’t want to hear about death, and she has had enough death in her family. I thought isn’t death a part of life, and we just need to remember but move on? Well needless to say we did talk for a while and got it out of our way. I did know marriage was daily work. I didn’t know it would be a part of my life’s work, but then again, there I go thinking again.
It’s the most hardest thing in life. However, we all have to deal with it. On 9/24/12 I got a call from my mom telling me that my step father is in the hospital, and they don’t think he will live. This made me stone faced I didn’t know what to say or do. So when she called again and said he is gone, I rushed over to her house to pick her up. We ended up at the hospital where I walked her in, and then we walked with him. We know that God has him now, and he is with him having a good ol time. Nevertheless, it is the hardest thing in life to deal with this thing called Death.
