Death (Winter)


Far behind in work oh work
you’re not even to hard, yet you are. How can I make my time better? I sit here
rocking in a rockingless chair. I sit here my neck in pain it can’t be popped.
My sinus’ are all messed up this pill is useless. I don’t want to take another
because I feel that I might sleep. OH, sleep last night you were elusive. Damn
you, my body, I’m fat I feel like I’m not worthy to live, but I sit here
thinking and working that if I wasn’t here. What would people be that I’ve
impacted. Where would they be? Oh, silence I miss you; I want you, but only
sleep is what I think about Oh will you let me be. Sleep.


weather has changed again, but the smell of this weather still lingers sugar beets
from the mill. This change of weather always brings memories and images of the
past. When family spent time together, and my youth was there and there was no
care of the present. To think about the past is to dwell on something that
cannot be changed but for life cannot be rearranged it can only be formed from
the past, and the future can’t yet be seen. Therefore, I must look forward to making
my present my future and my future yet to come. I hate the past for the mind wanders
to better days it seems but isn’t today better? I mustn’t think too hard for I
will not travel there in physical form but yet my mind shouldn’t forget. Ah,
colors of the leaves change as the waves in a stream flowing beautifully down
to the ground with the slight breeze. It’s warmer than normal and the birds are
confused as with the flies, they buzz annoyingly in my ear. No sticky tape to
trap them from landing on me. Time has been sent back, back one hour changes
the sleep of my mind. Rest, relax, dream has all been extended. 


Tasked to write.
Tasked to read.
Tasked to bleed.
Tasked to see.
Tasked to be.
I for one have an issue.
With being tasked to do anything.
Yes you say I’m a writer, but
how can I write something I’m not
ready for
what is meant by this is that I have
word issue.
I cannot be clear and crisp like
I can’t be intriguing and creative
like some.
I am just me being me.
And I for one know that I can be
I just need to learn how to flow be
I just need to learn how not to be like


I haven’t blogged on here much because I have had thoughts of doubt and of failure. You might think by the title I will be talking about Halloween, but to your disappointment, I will not. I will be talking about my writing. Yes, I write more than for school and blogs. I write comic books. I write with grammar errors and structure issues. I write stories, but my issue is showing a story and not just telling. You might ask why I have trouble. Well, I don’t know, really I don’t know. Okay, I lied I do know I just have an issue with descriptions. Yep, I have stories in my head, but I have issues putting them in a detailed descriptive manner. So, my goal before the end of the year is to be more descriptive.