Suicide

I thought of this today “suicide” not in the way to commit it as I was to do something harmful to myself in response to life’s ever evolving and ever disappointing battle. I thought of this as why do I want to destroy something that I have struggled with for many years. Do I want to give up, do I give a damn? I, however, found myself in a pit a deep one. One with many thoughts and droughts about myself. I didn’t know where to turn so I opened my email read the scripture of the day and then opened my mind to the possibilities that are never ending. I wanted to commit “suicide” in the way that I wanted to give up on writing and dreaming, but then I said if I don’t dream I don’t hope if I don’t hope, subsequently I don’t believe things will change or get better. So now I dream to hope, hope to dream life will run like a river stream with bumps, ups and downs, but then I know I made it around to the other side of the river, and there I will find a calm open mind to let things flow out like a gentle breeze.