Thursday, October 17, 2013 Will you ever remember me?
You may always wonder if a decision you made long ago was the right one. I know for me, I think that it was, but maybe I was wrong. Being a Believer, I always thought going to church having faith that life would end up better, never told me that having faith would last a lifetime and the struggles for a better life too. I know I haven’t written in a week and I kind of miss it, but it’s so hard to do when (you don’t take your MEDs) and are sick. One thinks about blowing the nose trying not to cough because it hurts too. But I never believed I would think of my life and decisions I made from the past all over again. This week I thought and prayed to God that things would get better no more scrounging to pay bills and thinking about debt that won’t go away (school). I never thought me wanting to be a writer would take so long to figure out and to get noticed. I’m still not known, yet my cousin is, and he struggled why wouldn’t my name, just get me out to the world with his? Wilson Rawls if you were alive would you help me?
I’ve said I wanted to be a novelist, and then it was a comic book writer, and then to screenplays, back to comic book. Well, I know I’m supposed to (or at least I think I am) write scripts of some kind entering contest only to spend money and nothing turning into anything. Then being told I should pitch my script yet it wasn’t perfect and things need to be perfect. I’m unknown, unagented/manager, No one knows who I am yet those who’ve read my writing say I have potential. Well, why won’t you help me make my writing perfect and to sell it too or at least get an agent who will mentor me? Well, this has not come to pass, and I don’t know if it ever will. I know my wife supports this decision, but without being able to help her live a non-dull life and not worry about bills is something I want to do, but I don’t want a regular job. (I hate people, okay customers, so needy)
Being sick sure does make you think of things you wouldn’t be otherwise, or maybe you would just not at that time. I know I seek fame, but now I just seek someone to help mold me further into the writer I want to be and to make a paycheck no matter how small. I would like to be a man, but for some reason, I’ve lost hope in myself, God, people, the government. Hope helps us dream, but when we lose our dreams, we lose our hope, and I have lost both. I would if I didn’t have my wife dogs and mother in the world today commit suicide. I have thought of it. Because really those are the only people who would mourn for me, but if they too, weren’t here, then why would I need to live. My dreams are dead. My faith is weak or gone. My hope is gone.
No one will read this, but my wife and mom. So who am I, really writing this for myself, my ego, my God, or just something else? I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but so far I can predict it and it will be like any other day boring, lifeless, financially mind blowingly depressing, dull, full of love from two dogs, my wife, my mom, but what will be different. I’ve tried to make each day different and knew only to be consumed of yesterday shit in todays. I know there are crises all over the world, I know there are people worse off than me, but why do I have the heart to help and give, yet have nothing, but shit in my hands?
“Don’t forget me when you made it?” People used to say when telling them of my dreams and what I wanted to do. Well, today I ask you, will you ever remember me?
The End of College Might Not be What Leads You to Your Life’s Goal
Not all college students follow the career they’ve chosen in college, sometimes the path gets a fork in the road, and you have a choice and both are good choices one just feel somehow more of better choice.
This is what Galadriel Stineman came across, and she chose the one she felt she needed to pursue, and that was of becoming an actor. “Yet she never became a child star like Union’s Josh Hutcherson, who made movies before he was 10, or Louisville’s Jennifer Lawrence, who was discovered at 14. Stineman participated in the drama club but never captured a starring role in a play at Newport Central Catholic High School. She had one line in “Annie.” She was a cheerleader, dancer and competitive horseback rider.” (Clark, Northern Kentucky Magazine)
She grew up in Northern Kentucky, were her dad was a tennis player and teacher and were her mom is a nurse. She states that she is, “creative, fun-loving, and a little weird.” But aren’t we all just a little weird in our own ways? She might seem younger when you think because she: “I was always top of my class and skipped a grade.” She was a cheerleader in high school and she did stick her feet into the drama class, but never pursued that as a career. She went to Northern Kentucky University where she graduated Magna Cum Laude. If you are wondering how she got her name, “I’m named after the elf queen in Lord of the Rings. My parents liked the books.” She states when asked if she would change her name, “Nope. Not my first one anyway.”
Driving On a Different Road
What steered her toward acting well she has always performed from a young age, feeling she, “came programmed to perform.” She started to, “… recreationally acting when I was in kindergarten.” “She moved to Los Angeles after graduation to pursue the dream started while watching ‘The Wizard of Oz’ and ‘Annie.’ While her friends ‘could watch movies and get lost in the story, I would watch the actress and watch her work,’ she said from her Los Angeles home.” (Kiesewetter)
Six months after moving to L.A. she landed her first role in an indie movie titled “Junkyard Dog.” She had auditioned many times prior to her landing this role. What helped her land the role was that she said, “The director said I was the only actress that kept taking the role further and further when he would push me. He said even though I was new, he believed I had the talent to carry the part.” She says that, “The best part of acting is really nailing something. Breaking it down, trying things, exploring it, and then coming up with a product you want to share. It’s very rewarding and always new.” Even though it takes many auditions to land, your first or second role you might need motivation to keep on trying even when you become established in the business. She has steadily been moving forward and getting many roles on TV from “Ben 10,” “Austin & Ally,” “True Blood,” “Betrayed at 17,” “Operation Cupcake,” “Good Luck Charlie,” to “Shameless,” and her more current and recurring role as Cassidy Finch on “The Middle.” She plays the girlfriend of one of the major lead characters. However, with this, it helps her motivation, “This makes me want to never get lazy and keep pushing. I’m starting to see results of many late nights. Also, this is now what I do for a living. Every time a job ends, it’s like being laid off. I have to make sure I keep the jobs coming, or I am unemployed.”
Again, with “The Middle” one would want to know how the cast is, and if they would open their arms to someone new, just breaking into the business. “The cast on ‘The Middle’ is so great. Welcoming and ridiculously skilled. I think they are some of the best comedy performers out there today and that includes the ‘kids.’ They are so fun to work with and to watch.” She does a lot of kissing in the show. Is it weird or is it not? “Honestly, at this point, I’ve made out with a lot of costars. It just becomes another part of the job.” Can chemistry help with the comfortableness of this? “It helps if you at least like each other, or else the audience will feel a lack of chemistry. Luckily, I’ve only had to kiss nice guys!”
She is not a teenager, but she plays one on TV does this make her feel that she is a teenager again? “Playing a teenager can be challenging. It seems like forever ago I was telling one of my parents they ruined my life. But it’s nice. It’s a chance to go back and try some things differently or play the kind of teenager I admired.” She has recently completed, “The Party Is Over” and “Man-Up!” as her next projects as well as more episodes of “The Middle.”
I came to know about her in watching “Ben 10: Alien Swarm” a Cartoon Network live-action movie. She started to be seen more just not those in the U.S., but internationally. Even though she no longer affiliated with Ben 10 projects, anymore she still has many that follow her career. With this day and age of technology, Facebook and Twitter, celebrities are able to keep in touch with fans and read what they have to say about their work first hand. Stineman does have Facebook and a Twitter. When asked if how it is to interact with her fans, “Facebook and twitter have become a blessing and a curse. It’s nice to be able to see the support I have and share things with my fans. ON the other hand, some people don’t understand boundaries and will do anything – or pretend to be anyone- to find out intimate details about you. I’ve had to be very careful and rethink the way I use the Internet.” She doesn’t have a blog nor does she interact like some celebrities via video’s and video chat, “Not my thing.”
I asked some other questions that you might find intriguing. I started; If you could have a superpower, what would it be? “I’d like to teleport. Visit home whenever I want and escape to the country.” What is your favorite holiday? ”Christmas. But I’m also a big fan of costumes and Halloween.” What’s the best present you’ve ever received? “That’s a tough one. Literally, I’d say my horse when I was younger. In a more poetic sense, the encouragement and unconditional support I received from my parents. They would have cheered me on in any field. What is your favorite season (time of year)? “I always change my mind. But lately, I’ve been saying Christmas. I love Christmas music and the smell of firewood. Not to mention the crisp air. Love it.”
Stineman has some Irish blood in her; she has red hair, and you may think that jobs are harder to get, but she says that it “can help or hurt. Being redheaded can help or hurt. You’ll rarely see two redheads on the same show. However, it seems to be popular right now, so that helps. And it makes you stand out. I also think it helps for comedy, because for some reason, red seems funny to many people.” Her biggest wish/dream is to,”…establish myself enough in my career that I wouldn’t have to worry about what my next job will be and could afford to move my family out here (California) and travel the world.” ###
I went to a movie this weekend with my mom. She hadn’t gone for two years. She and I chose Unbroken. Yes, my wife went and my nephew. The movie was great, but it made me think about my life.
I know I say I’ve been through hell and back but different people have different levels of hell. Mine compared with the lead and life story of the movie, my hell is nothing. He had to deal with more mental and physical challenges than I have ever gone through.
My hell has been more financial and mental than physical and mental. I’ve struggled with “am I good enough of a writer?” Will my words be read or seen on film? This has plagued me for years and now that I’m financially burdened. Broke beyond broke living off the government and not able to get a job (been without for far too long and no references) I don’t know where I’m going to get motivation. Oh wait, I just saw Unbroken. “If it’s to be it’s up to me!” Not the quote said throughout the movie, but I like this one.
I need to motivate me. If I don’t want to live off the government, or if I want my writing to be seen I need to work hard and persevere. I must work I must do I must read and learn I must write.
As far as the movie as a movie, it was good. It was a bit long but instead of telling the story, they showed it. When trapped on the raft it was a bit gruesome but not so much to divert your eyes. I was interested and entertained.
I would recommend this to anyone who wants motivation to live life to the fullest and to stop bitching about how life these days are too tough to live because we have never gone through what he went through.